Sadness

I wake up feeling sad.

I'm not sure why.

I guess I'm sad that I lost my job.

I'm more sad that I've decided to sell my house.

It's a family house. My grandparents bought in the 30's.

It's a huge decision but one that has to be made.

I'm not really sad about the decision. It's the right decision.

I'll be 60 in a few weeks and I'm planning on retiring to South Carolina.

The house will have to be sold no matter what.

It's just a matter of when.

I probably have 20 years left.

I don't want to be looking at the clock in some office cubicle for the next 10 years.

Not even the next 5 years.

Cubicle. That's an ugly word.

Here's some information on the dreaded "cubicle."

The cubicle system evolved from Herman Miller’s Action Office, a system for open-plan offices designed by Robert Propst. Propst wanted to design a system that boosted productivity; it was never his intention to build something whose primary purpose was to pack as many workers as possible into as little space as possible. He is said to have denounced the cubicle systems inspired by Action Office as “monolithic insanity”.

Yeah, that I can believe.

So, not sad about that.

Just sad that this part of my life is over. 

I'm not good at goodbyes.

Even "good" goodbyes.

There are so many memories in this house. So many pictures of so many family members. It's hard to hand that to someone else. 

But, it's a nice house, it deserves to have another family love it.  Take pictures in it. Make memories in in it. And, then, someday, feel sad when they hand it to someone else to love.