I am safe in the arms of the Universe.

When I woke up, the feelings tried to return, but I successfully fought them off.

I just kept repeating "I am safe in the arms of the Universe."

This is a hard truth to believe.

We are taught over and over again to be careful, to watch out, to expect calamity.

It's a sensible thing to teach a child, I suppose, but is it true?

I noticed something interesting when I was repeating it to myself.

As I repeated it, my muscles began to relax.

It is interesting that I am subconsciously "girding my loins" for battle, even when there is no danger.

I am going to meditate on this later today. I want to inculcate that feeling until it's automatic.


                                I am safe in the arms of the Universe.

So.....

So, lately, life is not so easy.

I wake up depressed.

I am really not used to this.

I'm not really sure what is causing it.

There is no real reason for it.

A few irritating people around me but no reason to be that upset.

Gradually, as the day passes, I work my way out of it.

Usually by listening to Abraham.

My temp agency emails me job postings.

There was one in Horsham.

Now, there really is no easy way to get from Philly to Horsham. It's pretty much just a straight run up Broad Street, in city traffic, with lots and lots of traffic lights.

In short, it sucks.

I though about applying but decided not to.

Later in the day, though, a thought crossed my mind.

A thought that really changed everything.

"That job is just not good enough for me."

That's what I thought.

I was actually surprised by my own thought.

(Is that possible? Apparently, it is.)

The more I thought about it, the more I it felt totally right.

Yes, that job is not good enough for me. Of course that job is not good enough for me.

Why?

Because I create my own reality.

Why would I create that crappy reality?

A job with a torturous commute?

Been there, done that.

The more I though about that, the more my mood lifted.

I've created many wonderful experiences, including great jobs.

I can continue to create many wonderful experiences.

I don't have to settle.

I wasn't created to settle.

I was created in the image of God herself to have anything I could conceive.

Message from the Universe received!

Turning Down a Job

So my temp agency emailed and offered me a chance to try a job in Yardley.

They wanted me to take a two-hour editing test.

Yeah, that sounds like fun...NOT.

My first though was "ugh." Yardley. Ugh, editing. Ugh, taking tests.

So I told them Yardley was too far. It's really close to my old job.

It sounded perfect for my a colleague who just got laid off so I put the recruiter and her in touch.

They came back and said I could work remotely, was I still interested?

I told them my colleague was a better fit.

Now, I haven't told anyone about this.

Everyone would think I was crazy.

"You're crazy! You're turning down work!"

Honestly, it felt like a test from the Universe.

Did I really mean what I say? I am determined not to take a job out of desperation or for any other reason but that I really really want to do it.

I'm going to tell the agency, talk to me after Labor Day!

I'm not working this month.

Also, I'm not working any job that makes me think "ugh."

I know the Universe can bring me a great job, a job I'll love, a job with people I'll love.

I'm good. I'll know what to do when it arrives.

I'm trusting the Universe and I'm happy.

North vs South

So, this is this is interesting. My north node is in Scorpio, my south node is in Taurus.

The rules below are my particular astrology.


Release (Taurus south node): Attachment to luxury, earthly appetites and overindulgence, being too practical, sticking with what you know, hiding in a comfort zone, working harder not smarter, loyalty at your own expense, always being the provider, holding energy in your throat chakra.

Embrace (Scorpio north node): Spirituality, connection to the universe/divine, spiritual fulfillment, unspoken connections, mystery, allowing others to help you financially, passive income, joint financial ventures, releasing energy through your sacral chakra.

Hmm, apparently, I need to be less practical, stop sticking to the familiar, and embrace my connection to the divine.

Yeah, I can do that.

The Great American Eclipse

So, there's a major eclipse occurring in August.

I've been listening to LOTS of astrology videos to get a handle on this.

Apparently, this is a series of eclipses, the last of which occurred in 1998.

The astrologers all mentioned to check what occurred in your life in 1998 to get an idea of what will happen now.

I decided to check my resume and I was rather astonished to notice that I changed jobs and careers in 1998.

Now, due to my boss refusing to let me go, I did not actually start the new job and career until January, but I was actually hired in August of 1998.

This was a huge change for me. Up until this point, I was basically an administrative assistant.

Becoming an editor was a taking up a completely different path through life.

My life changed, I made more money, I took different jobs in different companies.

More importantly, I also saw myself differently. I saw myself as someone with a career, not just a job. I saw myself as a professional.

So, big change!

I think I am being called to a new career, a new life, in the same way I was called to a new life and a new career then.

Still a little astonished by this.

Time for change....okay!

Sadness

I wake up feeling sad.

I'm not sure why.

I guess I'm sad that I lost my job.

I'm more sad that I've decided to sell my house.

It's a family house. My grandparents bought in the 30's.

It's a huge decision but one that has to be made.

I'm not really sad about the decision. It's the right decision.

I'll be 60 in a few weeks and I'm planning on retiring to South Carolina.

The house will have to be sold no matter what.

It's just a matter of when.

I probably have 20 years left.

I don't want to be looking at the clock in some office cubicle for the next 10 years.

Not even the next 5 years.

Cubicle. That's an ugly word.

Here's some information on the dreaded "cubicle."

The cubicle system evolved from Herman Miller’s Action Office, a system for open-plan offices designed by Robert Propst. Propst wanted to design a system that boosted productivity; it was never his intention to build something whose primary purpose was to pack as many workers as possible into as little space as possible. He is said to have denounced the cubicle systems inspired by Action Office as “monolithic insanity”.

Yeah, that I can believe.

So, not sad about that.

Just sad that this part of my life is over. 

I'm not good at goodbyes.

Even "good" goodbyes.

There are so many memories in this house. So many pictures of so many family members. It's hard to hand that to someone else. 

But, it's a nice house, it deserves to have another family love it.  Take pictures in it. Make memories in in it. And, then, someday, feel sad when they hand it to someone else to love.

Happier Days

I probably shouldn't be happy that I lost my job, but I am.

So far, I've slept alot, had two medical appointments, got a mani/pedi.

Signed up for unemployment. Made sure I had health care as of August 1 (Thanks,  President Obama).

Maybe a cut and color next.

Other than that, just hanging out enjoying myself.

Got a new book, Hillbilly Elegy.

Don't intend to move a muscle or think about work until September.

Everything is on hold as far as I'm concerned.